I regret I haven’t posted sooner!
Things are still coming a long with my transition and adjustment to DC. My time has continued to feature periods of highs and periods of lows. I want my posts to be as real as possible-which is why I even started writing a post during a difficult time but then decided not to finish because I didn’t feel like I could make my message clear enough.
Challenges are continuing to present themselves. Work has been challenging, dealing with my back issue has been challenging, making friends has been challenging, paying my bills has been challenging, feeling like I fit in has been challenging.. but most of all I think remembering my purpose and passion for returning to DC has been challenging. I think we can easily overlook those things; where we came from, who we are, who we’re becoming, our hopes, dreams, and reasons for making ourselves vulnerable and open– when we get caught up in the details of day to day life.
The past several weeks I’ve really been in a “blah” mood. Not feeling terrible, but not feeling great, and not really seeing a resolution or end to my “meh” mindset. However, today was a break through for me and I am hoping I can replace some of my “meh” moments with fuller and richer joy and experiences.
I’ve been mulling over my mood all day. This evening I was getting ready for bed and opened my cabinet to see a jar that my counselor in Waco had named the “jar of courage”. She gave me the jar which is just a small mason jar with the word “courage” written on it and several stacks of small post it notes inside. She presented it to me on our last session together and encouraged me to write down my moments of courage so that when needed to I could go back and read them and remember my courageous acts. I thought the jar was a great idea but when it came down to it I had never written any moments down on the sticky notes. I had been too lazy and honestly apathetic to think of times when I was courageous.
This evening, on a whim, I decided to take the jar from the closet and write down a moment of courage. I ended up writing down 6 or 7 moments/acts of courage. Once I wrote down one I thought of another, and another, and another. Writing down my moments of courage was incredibly self-empowering, compassionate, and self-loving. As I wrote down each moment I remembered the act and how truly courageous it was. Now, I’m not trying to make an argument for my exceptional behavior or how incredible my actions are. But we all do things that are courageous, every day. Who would have thought it would be so empowering to write them down!
Courageous acts can be as simple as speaking your mind about something, being honest about how you feel, sharing your ideas or beliefs, or choosing to eat healthy or start an exercise regime. Writing down my moments of courage reminded me of how courageous I am, how honest I seek for my life to be, and the ways I am pursuing that desire.
It also reminded me of how far I have come and what I have already accomplished. I watched a talk on self-compassion recently and the role it plays in maintaining and building our sense of worth, our confidence in our abilities, and accepting our mistakes or things we wish we could change. Writing down my moments of courage, as simple or grand as they are, was incredibly self-compassionate. I am reminded of my journey and the ways I am developing my identity and sense of self.
What have you done recently that showed courage? What do you do every day that is courageous? Jot a few things down- I bet you’ll be surprised how helpful and insightful it is! 🙂